This Is the Best Way to Fight With Your Partner, According to Psychologists

Can there be relationships without arguments? No. In fact, phycologists agree that if a relationship doesn’t have any, it means the flame has gone out, and neither party cares enough to fight about anything anymore. But there is a smart way to disagree with one another without hurting anyone’s feelings or putting a strain on the relationship. Following these simple steps can prevent huge blowups from ruining the comfort zone you’ve been trying to maintain in your relationship.

What Triggers the Fight

Often when couples argue, it’s the same conflict over and over, and nothing seems to get resolved. Psychologists believe that if a person is curious about what triggers the argument and is willing to make compromises, a huge eruption can be avoided. Try and figure out why the same disputes happen repeatedly and think of ways to prevent them.

Schedule the Argument

It might sound silly to schedule a conflict, but it could work to your and your partner’s advantage. Sometimes arguments come up without being planned, but it could help to schedule a time to discuss the problems. That way, you’re not in distress all day and know when you’ll be able to sit down and have a civil conversation with your partner.

A Timeout Might Be Necessary

There are three states in which a person may react during an argument – fight, flight, or freeze. It’s how the body produces the hormones that either make a person respond to the threat before them, run away from it altogether, or freeze up and be incoherent. That’s why it’s important to keep that in mind when there’s a conflict, and if necessary, call a timeout. That way, both parties can take the time to recuperate and be ready to talk as adults.

Request – Don’t Complain

Noam Ostrander, an associate professor of social work at De Paul University, explains that often people go straight for the accusation instead of trying a different tactic. Perhaps, something that might simmer down the conflict is to request something or other from their partner that’s bothering them.