Instead of Searching for a Soulmate – Try a Different Approach

Life happens around us, but people are often invested in finding their soulmate. It’s a fact of life and a practice many people subscribe to. It’s that need to have someone in your life, someone who is perfect and completes you. It’s the ultimate search for true love and for that person who will always be by your side. But it might be a good idea to try a different approach for once. You might be better for it!

Searching for a Soulmate

It Shouldn’t Be a Necessity

A psychologist based in California, Ramani Durvasula, explains something essential when trying to look for ‘the one.’ Beginning that search can turn into a never-ending quest, and that’s no good for anyone. Those people who believe in the proverbial ‘soulmate’ can start thinking that they need someone to complete them, and that’s the wrong approach, according to the psychologist. She explains that having that one person in your life should be more of an enhancement rather than one more necessity in your life.

Searching for a Soulmate

Not a Soulmate but a List

Ramani Durvasula explains that instead of looking for the one, a person should try and look for other things like honesty and a healthy relationship. A helpful aid would be to make a list. It’s more or less like making a grocery list, except with qualities. You can try and jot down qualities you’d like to see in the person next to you. Be specific – write down things you can’t do without. Make sure you know yourself and what you want. Making this list can help you determine what you’re looking for so you don’t waste time.

making a list

Observe Other Couples

According to a California psychologist, observing couples close to you can help you be more objective. It can help to see a healthy relationship and make that a goal for yourself. Certain qualities and the way people act towards each other hit differently when you’re looking at things from the side. Look at different couples, and you’ll start realizing what you want or don’t want, and it could help see why a relationship ended and watch out for red flags.

Observe Other Couples

Prioritize Yourself

People can’t expect to have a healthy relationship if they don’t prioritize themselves. You should keep that in mind. The psychologist explains it’s important to work on yourself and focus on your career and personal health. That can help you prepare for a relationship and be stable when you get into one. If you’re already with a soulmate, you should work on becoming strong on your own as well as a couple. People who grow together also grow stronger together!


The bottom line is that when you’re strong on your own, you’ll have a strong relationship. And if you feel good about yourself and know what you want, you’ll be looking for a soulmate to enhance your life – you won’t necessarily need someone to complete you!