Therapists Share 5 Great Tips for Couples When Having “The Talk”

When a relationship is still fresh but we want to know where it’s going, it means it’s time to have the talk. Bringing up the topic of “what are we to each other” can be difficult and pretty stressful for most people. That’s why we’ve gathered five helpful pointers that were shared by therapists to help make this conversation easier to bring up and get through!

Pick the Right Time for “The Talk”

A licensed family and marriage therapist in LA, Rebecca Hendrix, says that it’s time to have “the talk” when you can’t get the question out of your head and it’s beginning to cause you relationship anxiety. However, starting up the conversation too soon, for example, if you’ve only been on a few dates, could seem pushy and might not yield good results. Timing is important!

Have the Conversation In Person

Although it seems easier to have a difficult conversation such as “what are we” over the phone or via messages, this is something best done in person. Talking face to face is much more personal and it minimizes the chances of either party’s tone or words being misinterpreted.

Avoid Phrases Like “We Need to Talk”

Relationship and dating coach from LA, Lisa Shields, warns about using such stress-inducing phrases. Starting up any type of conversation with “we need to talk” will immediately cause the other person to panic. This definitely isn’t the proper mood to set when having the talk about where the relationship is going.

Keep the Tone Light

Dating expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (and That’s a Good Thing), Andrea Syrtash, says that the conversation shouldn’t be pressure-filled. Even though the topic might be serious, it doesn’t mean that the tone of the conversation has to be as well. Keeping the tone light and upbeat will keep both of you at ease and allow you to express your feelings and thoughts without stress or added anxiety caused by a serious tone.

Allow the Person Time to Think

It’s possible that the person you’re having the talk with won’t have an answer for you right away. Don’t let that cause you concern! Be confident enough to give them the time they need to properly think things through so that they can make a decision they’re honestly comfortable with. When you feel enough time has passed, you can casually ask if they’ve had a moment to think about what you spoke of the other day.