Hearing This One a Lot
Unfortunately, you’re going to hear a lot more stories of distracted dads from these nurses. This one just had a single phrase they were tired of wondering about.
So many people talk about how magical seeing your child for the first time is. Not to mention, your partner is going through something incredibly painful. We understand that you might want to update your family but now really isn’t the time to be on the phone.
Okay, You Push Them Out
This guy seems like he was doubly awful when he was there to “support” his wife. For one, again, he was yet another husband too busy with his phone.
On top of that, he insisted that she “didn’t need” the epidural. For one, he can’t feel the pain she’s in so it’s not for him to say. Secondly, while many people opt for natural childbirth, an epidural is a valid choice that can make the person laboring much more comfortable.
What Do You Want to Say First?
While childbirth is hard, there’s a payoff. Many parents say they’ll never forget the moment they held their child for the first time. That makes sense, too!
After all, you’ve put in so much work and preparation into meeting your new little one and the fact that they’re here now is usually really emotional. Sorry, this dad was happy to see him, but he was more upset about missing Game of Thrones.
Where Is He?
There are some couples who agree to not have the father in the room. Then, there are plenty of fathers who just outright failed to show up.
As for this guy, he missed the first birth when he was chilling at home, taking in a true crime documentary. If that has you heated, wait until you hear what he said to her about being “lucky” that he bothered to show up this time. Very classy.
We Need the Lights
While a wife is in labor, it’s a husband’s job to support her. You also need to understand that the focus after birth is on the mother and the baby, not the husband.
This nurse was doing her job and making sure that this mother knew how to feed her baby when she opted to breastfeed. Oftentimes, nurses work with the lights on so they and the patient can see and understand what’s going on. A napping husband isn’t the priority here.
Never the Time
When it comes to what nurses see, some things really push the limits. As for this nurse, they decided to choose from the legal things husbands had done that they couldn’t believe.
There are some things that you might have already heard of from delivery rooms that disgust you. Tearing is possible when you give birth and it’s hard enough to deal with without husbands perpetuating this disgusting practice.
Not Relevant but Definitely Disgusting
Unfortunately, the sentiment that the last nurse shared isn’t uncommon. This nurse had another situation like it but even dumber.
Let’s review one thing — when someone has a c-section, they go through an operation to remove the baby instead of delivering traditionally. Both are very difficult. Still, this disgusting request wasn’t even relevant to the situation. At the end of it all, he managed to make a pretty poor impression on the nurse.
You’re the Supposed to Help
Having a child takes a lot out of you. It can feel even more jarring when you’re young and learning how to care for a newborn for the very first time.
This nurse was sympathetic when she saw how this husband was failing to take care of his wife or newborn. This young woman was exhausted from staying up with the baby all night and, mind you, still healing from delivery. She needed rest but this father wasn’t about to offer it to her.
Are You Kidding?
Labor is pretty variable. There are some people who have their baby in minutes and there are some people who stay in labor for hours and hours on end.
One thing is for sure, you shouldn’t rush your wife if she’s in labor. It’s unhelpful and unthoughtful. Not to mention, it makes it pretty clear that you value a hockey game over the birth of your child and your wife’s well-being.
A postpartum nurse helps outpatients who have given birth after they’ve delivered their baby. After all, as joyous as it can be, this is still a major medical event. As such, these patients are going to need time to recover.
During this time, you want to make sure that they’re as comfortable as possible. This nurse couldn’t help but notice how much the dads complained about their stay rather than supporting their partner however they can.
Is Now the Time?
Infidelity is hard and even if it’s not happening, you might get suspicious if things are looking weird. When pregnancy is involved, it gets even more complicated.
The most straightforward way to find out if a child is yours is to get a DNA test. However, there are certain times that you have to just wait a little bit. When a baby is fighting to survive, it’s not the time to hash out your marital issues and involve your new kid.
You’re Literally the Father
This time, we hear from another person who specialized in taking care of patients who are in postpartum recovery as well.
In this line of work, they were shocked to see how many husbands acted like the baby wasn’t their responsibility. This led to more than one exchange where they look shocked that they’d be asked to do anything! You would think you’d expect it when you know you’re having a baby.
Pushing the Point Home
When fathers act like they don’t know what they’re doing with their babies, this postpartum nurse wasn’t just going to back off and bug mom instead. For one, they went out of their way to validate the mom who just gave birth.
On top of that, they aren’t afraid to call these husbands out when they get defiant about taking care of the newborn. With some direct instruction and a little reprimanding, they’d get them to work at least as long as they were in the hospital.
Not Paying Attention at All
The moment that a baby is born is often described as a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime moment. Seeing your child for the first time, that is.
When this person was doing their clinicals, they were rather upset to see one husband who just wouldn’t get off his phone! Even as the nurses tried to engage him and let him know his kid was coming into the world, he kept his nose in his phone.
Please, Just Be Present
There are definitely times when you’re allowed to turn your brain off and not be present. Maybe you’re trying to fall asleep after a long day of work or taking some time to yourself on a lunch break.
On the other hand, there are some things that you should definitely be present for. Example — the birth of your child. Since it wasn’t clear to this husband, we’ll say it. “Present” does not mean there but playing your Steam Deck.
Not a Good Showing
Apparently, there are more husbands than just the last one that put their title as “gamer” over their titles of “father” and “husband.”
This person worked as a doula and saw too many people deliver babies while their husbands were more immersed in the game than supporting their partners or meeting their children. They’ve heard about every misogynistic comment in the book too. Some won’t even touch their children right away.
She Asked for Her Mom
When someone gives birth, it can be painful and frightening. So, they want to make sure they choose the people in the room carefully. This woman was clear that her mother was who she wanted in the room.
That didn’t stop her husband from trying to undermine her in a very vulnerable moment by bringing his mother into the room instead. We’re glad that this nurse had her back, at least, because her husband was being absolutely awful.
Okay, Put the Switch Down
This person didn’t have too many delivery room stories but it seems anyone who worked in a delivery room lately has seen a husband playing video games while their partner is in labor.
This nurse couldn’t help but feel a little shocked when they saw that this soon-to-be father wasn’t even interested in putting his game down when his wife went into active labor and delivery. Let’s just leave the Switch in the bag when you’re watching your partner give birth.
That’s Your Biggest Concern?
The truth is, pregnancy isn’t always safe. There are plenty of complications that can pop up before, during, and after delivery that can put mom or baby in danger.
It’s hard to imagine anyone not being worried if you saw your partner bleeding this much. After all, losing liters of blood and being rushed to an operating room isn’t a good sign. The nurse couldn’t believe that he didn’t even ask about his wife as soon as they were back in the room.
No one knows everything when they first have a child, that’s what nurses are there for. If you haven’t breastfed before, they’ll help you learn how.
We understand that new parents tend to have a lot of anxiety but there’s a time that you need to trust your partner a bit. That definitely applied here, since only one of them could even breastfeed, maybe it was time for dad to step back and stop berating his partner like this.
How Did You Miss This?
Staying up with your partner throughout their labor can really tire you out. Of course, it’s not quite as tiring as actually being the person who just gave birth.
This dad didn’t do anything awful on purpose but his exhaustion definitely got the better of him. The failed wake-up didn’t help his case, though. As a result, instead of keeping an eye on the baby, he managed to sleep through the entire medical crisis in the very same room as him.
Thanks for the Support
As we said, being a new parent is exhausting, so you might want to enjoy your sleep while you have it. Once your partner is in labor, though, it’s go-time — not nap time.
That’s something that this person’s brother-in-law seems to have missed during the birth of his children. Not to mention, the audacity to complain about the noise of the machines keeping careful track of his wife and baby’s condition. “Useless” seems like a good word here.
For Support, Right?
There are some stories that are harrowing just from hearing it. You can’t imagine what it would be like to actually live through the experience firsthand. This mother had a delivery that was traumatic, to say the least.
At the end of it all, the child didn’t make it and the mother was left with her health in serious jeopardy. Instead of supporting her, the father was out to dinner and wasn’t much help when he got back either. Grief and shock can make us do funny things, though.
Is This Really the Time?
A lot of people make birth plans well before they go into labor. That way, the parents are alleviated a bit by knowing what to do and where to go.
If you don’t, you might make odd decisions in a panic. At least, that’s the best excuse that we could give this father. Otherwise, we don’t know why you would want to step out for a burger and fries while your wife gives birth.
No, You Really Don’t
This isn’t so much about a specific father in the delivery room as it was something that you shouldn’t say, at least in this nurse’s eyes.
There are plenty of times that we sympathize with someone by saying that we know how they feel. On the other hand, there are times in which these words are rather empty. In the delivery room, unless you’ve had a baby yourself, you might not want to try this route.
Left Feeling Abandoned
As we’ve seen, there are some things that you just can’t say to someone whose in labor. Some phrases go past rude and simply veer into heartless.
For some of these fathers, you can make the excuse that they were panicked, shocked, or unsure of what to do. On the other hand, you can’t explain away someone saying something as disgusting as this to their wife. Oh, we’re sorry, was her pain while giving birth messing up your Tetris score?
Is the Haircut That Important?
As you go through your pregnancy, you’ll be given a due date. This isn’t something that’s set in stone, though, and no one can control when they go into labor.
This person was shocked to walk into one delivery room and see a father who was giving everyone the silent treatment while his child was being born. Not only that, but his wife was having an emergency C-section as well. There’s no world in which your haircut is more important than this.
Okay, Let’s Switch Places
A delivery room is a place where someone needs support. Of course, they’re excited to meet their child but they’re also going through a tremendously painful and emotional process.
If you’ve never had a child, you can’t really say that you know how much childbirth hurts. However, you can guess that it isn’t the most comfortable experience in the world. Saying something like this is a surefire way to make everyone in the room mad at you.
The Opposite of Support
If someone is in labor, it can go on for a long time. While their husbands might be able to go out and take a break, there’s not much you can do to escape it when you’re giving birth.
This soon-to-be mother wasn’t even just in labor either — she was actively having a C-section! If you don’t know much about them, they’re painful and they can be a terrifying medical experience. Even worse, if you utter an insult like this to your wife, you should be kicked out of the delivery room!
Well, You Left
Once labor and pushing start, there’s really no stopping it in most cases. This person found that there were a few things that really ground their gears as a nurse.
As far as husbands of people delivering went, not being present was the common theme. Whether they were asleep or just straight-up left the room, this nurse didn’t have a high opinion of fathers missing the action. This one dad in particular really stood out for being particularly awful about his own absence.
You’ve Got to be Kidding
There are plenty of parents who wait with bated breath to find out if they’re having a baby girl or a baby boy. However, no matter what you’re guessing, you have to accept the reality.
Plus, if you want more children, you might want to give your wife time to rest and recover before you bring it back up. This dad was a little too quick to dismiss his new daughter to push forward and ask how long they’d have to wait before trying again with more hopes for a boy.
You Did Not Just Say That
Two hours of active labor can seem like years when you’re the one experiencing the pain. We promise that it doesn’t feel nearly as grueling to partners not giving birth.
You can push all you want but there are some complications during the birth that mean that doctors and nurses have to intervene a bit more than they usually would. Brutal commentary from a husband like this is enough to know that this guy doesn’t seem all that pleasant to be around.
She Needs Some Help!
In case the point isn’t driven home yet, giving birth is an exhausting and painful process. To add to that, having a newborn isn’t the key to getting a lot of sleep.
When this nurse saw a new mom struggling to even go to the bathroom, they turned to her husband for help. After all, it’s his baby too, so it’s his responsibility to help care for the baby. This “dad” just wasn’t interested in being a good husband or father that day.
Sir, This Is an Emergency
Once again, we’ll point out that people react in weird ways in a crisis. You would expect this husband to be a little more worried when his wife was actively bleeding out.
Yet, it seemed that he was more focused on how the whole situation was like a hospital drama. It left this nurse conflicted. For one, it took a lot not to tell him off for the unhelpful comments. On the contrary, it meant that they must have all done a great job working quickly and calmly as a medical team.
It’s Not Nap Time
When you give birth, your medical team, midwives, doulas, or any other birthing professional are there to make sure that you and the baby you deliver are healthy and safe.
This goes for more than just checking your vitals too. When this person’s partner wasn’t supporting them throughout the process, the midwife had no problem waking him up and telling him exactly what they thought about how he was acting.
Not Hearing the End of This
There are a few things that, of course, your partner isn’t going to forget if you say it to them during labor. Plus, if you aren’t giving birth, you don’t have as much room to say something thanks to pain or stress.
This dad was a little more focused on the athletic achievements of strangers than his wife or only daughter that day. While their marriage seemed to be good otherwise, the distraction proved to be a story that both of these parents would tell time and time again.
Noting a Difference
This nurse had noticed a pattern among dads who were holding back during their time working in labor & delivery. There were dads who wanted to help and those who didn’t. Dads who wanted to help might just be nervous around their newborns.
After all, it’s a lot to suddenly have this tiny life rely on you and they need a little nudge as to what to do and then they’re good to go. Others, you can tell that they don’t want to engage with their baby or their partner.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses and the delivery room is a pretty high-stress place. This woman knows that it just happens to be one of her partner’s weaknesses.
She notes that her partner seems really disengaged at the hospital and it’s just something she has come to expect after having four kids. Still, she emphasized that this doesn’t make him a bad father, it’s just the hospital setting that phases him.
Giving Some Direction
As a younger nurse, you might be a little more nervous to speak up than when you have years and years of experience under your belt. That was this nurse’s experience, at least.
That being said, they never stepped over a boundary or lost it at a disinterested parent. They were just willing to look at those disengaged fathers and give them something direct to do. Sometimes, as we’ve seen, this can get the ball rolling and get them in the groove of things.
Laying Down the Law
We’ve seen quite a few dads here that were more interested in gaming systems they brought from home instead of their partner actively giving birth to his child.
This person had had just about enough when the husband in question aimed that disrespect at them trying to teach them basic newborn care too. It seems like everyone else in the room was behind this nurse finally putting him in his place.
A Little Effort, Please
When you’re in the hospital, you’re usually only a call button away from help when something goes wrong. So, naturally, the nurse thought this dad needed a little help.
We can see why he might want a little guidance if he’d never changed a diaper before. Yet, it was the fact that dads like this seemed unwilling, rather than unable, to help out their partners or their newborns.
There’s So Much Going on Here
It’s hard enough to go through the process of labor and delivery. If your baby has to go to the NICU after this, it can be downright terrifying.
With this young mom recovering in one hospital and the baby transferred to the NICU in another, the nurses expected her husband to rally behind them both. Instead, he was too busy fighting his way through Xbox Live matches while his closest family members were fighting for their lives.
A Really Heartbreaking Scene
When something is off in a pregnancy, it can really spike a parent’s anxiety. If that anomaly is bad enough to cause someone to be induced early, it’s a lot to go through. This partner wasn’t interested in helping at all.
Even as the nurse tried to get him to help provide direct relief to his partner, he’d only join for a moment before declaring he was too tired. To make matters all the more tragic, his partner was outright begging him to stay and help out.
Creating Some Ground Rules
As you go through any career in labor and delivery, you’ll notice that some husbands offer an outpouring of support to their partners.
At the same time, there were new fathers who fell on the other end of the spectrum. The second birth that this nurse witnessed was much different from the first. It made them wish there was another role in the labor & delivery department they could fill.
Not Showing Up at All
Sometimes, the things that stand out to you in a room are just empty spaces where something or someone should be.
Labor and delivery nurses are all too familiar with helping a person delivering who’s left to give birth alone because their husband just didn’t show up. Given how hard giving birth is, this jarring missing person must be really hard for the person in labor.